iron shots
by queen-of-anarchy
Summary: Gale thinks about Katniss and her decisions through the Games. / Galeniss.


The forest was the only solace I needed at the moment.

I am finishing another snare, the only hobby that I have except hunting. When I am not providing for Ms. Everdeen, Prim or my own family, I sneak here, where the green of the leaves calms me, the sound of branches and leaves being crushed under my boots makes me feel safe, makes me feel somewhat like I have some sort of power, even if it is the faith of leaves underneath my feet.

I hear a snap, I have a rabbit in one of my snares, perfect. I get up, finish killing it and stuffed it in a bag. Maybe Greasy Sae will like this, rabbit is her favorite.

I get into The Hob and I hear whispers around me, and I hate it.

"_I never knew Katniss would be chosen, poor girl."_

"_She kissed the baker's son, isn't that sweet?"_

"_I wonder how the Hawthorne kid is doing must suck being him right now."_

The voices get lower when I enter, I feel eyes on me but I try to ignore it as much as possible. I get up to the counter and Greasy Sae smiles at me, not bothering to ask me how I feel over The Hunger Games, just casually taking the rabbit, taking it and paying me back with two bags of coffee beans. Excellent, Ms. Everdeen will love these. The minute I exit The Hob the voice of gossip and woe get louder again.

And I grit my teeth because I'm so angry at them. At her. At all of it.

I knock on Ms. Everdeen door and little Prim answers me, with Buttercup curled around her leg, she smiles and takes the coffee. "Thanks, Gale." She said as she smiled and I walked away.

I get back to the forest and I sit on the nearest tree. And I scream.

It's not the kind of scream you get when you're hurt, it's not the kind of scream you get when you're bleeding, it's the kind of scream that send vibrations all around your body.

It's a hateful scream, it's an angry scream.

The Games are a cruel punishment created by The Capitol, to keep us, The Common people, the workers, the slaves, the hungry, in line, to remind us all who has the higher power. But how can the Capitol, where is only the minority, have so much higher power than the rest of the districts, especially those in poverty, when we are the majority?

There are nights I cannot sleep, the very idea of rest mocks me with it's indifference. I had nightmare, of Katniss, getting killed by snakes, by arrows, by swords, by hatchets, and it terrified me. I moved around my bed and when I woke up, I was drenched in sweat.

I do have faith in Catnip, I really do. I have seen her hunt, the way her eyes never leave a prey, the glint in them when she gets her prey, a somewhat feeling of satisfaction runs over her. But I care about her, more than I should actually, so, I get terrified at the thought of something happening to her.

Then, I saw her in the games, in my tiny TV Screen in home. Sometimes I watch it with the Everdeen's for moral support, sometimes Prim's later falls asleep in my lap and I carry her to her bed. Catnip is fierce, a warrior, a soldier, a survivor. She is ruthless, brave and strong…and I remembered.

I remembered why I minded when Darius wanted a kiss from her. I remembered how I felt the first day I saw Katniss dressed for the Hunger Games, in a dress that wasn't really her, but one got to see her feminine side to it. I remembered the proud feeling I get when she managed to work with snares. I remembered the day one of the Seam boys said a rude comment about how Katniss was growing into a womanly body and I punched him in the face. I remembered all those chances of kissing her and I didn't.

But most importantly I remembered when I last saw her, I wanted to speak to her, I wanted her to know. She needed to know.

"_I won't! You know I won't! Katniss remember I—"_

And they yanked us apart, and she will never know what it was I wanted her to remember.

"I love you."

That was it. I needed her to know, but now, as I recall from last night, she kissed Peeta, she started to proclaim his love for her, and she for his and I could feel it, a pain in my chest, where my heart is suppose to be. But I swallow my pain and continue to be the Gale Hawthorne everybody knows.

Stoic, brave, strong, determined, supportive of his family… only happiness and solace is found in the woods with her. I close my eyes and just think, but at the same time I try to forget.

_That's suppose to me, that's suppose to be me. That could be me. Protecting her, that should be me._

But it will never be, because my Catnip is gone. Her heart feels for another, but as long as her happiness is necessary and fulfilled, it shall always be important to me.

Even if it's not me who's making her smile, blush or kissed.


End file.
